Text

This is a large collection of Michael’s talks that have been transcribed by community members (including a few French and Spanish translations), as well as interviews and articles both with and by Michael. There is also a beautiful, downloadable e-book designed and produced by students.

Out of all of the texts these three are the most popular:

Books that Michael wrote, edited, or contributed to are on the Books page.

Preview of The Inner Tradition of Yoga, Revised Edition

In this new edition, I’ve edited any areas where I’ve idealized a liberation that’s free from the suffering of being human. There is no way beyond this human life. Yoga is a practice that helps us be more present with the actual, fluid life we are living right now.

Making Practice Matter

Making Practice Matter is a compilation of two dharma talks by Michael Stone. Together they address the theme of how practice can bring us more fully into this contemporary time and place.

Heart Sutra & Bodhisattva Vows

Maha Prajña Paramita Heart Sutra Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, doing deep Prajña Paramita, Clearly saw emptiness of all the five conditions Thus completely relieving misfortune and pain. Here Shariputra, form is no other than emptiness, emptiness no other than form; Form is exactly emptiness, emptiness exactly form. Sensation, conception, discrimination, awareness are likewise like this. Here Shariputra, [...]

Emotional Granularity

A letter written by Michael after co-teaching with Paul Haller at the Tassajara Mountain Center: I just returned from co-teaching with Paul Haller at the Tassajara Mountain Zen Center. Paul has been practicing for forty years and his manner has invigorated my practice yet again, particularly his injunction to stay “interested in experience.” In a […]

Grief: An Essay

If the vastness of the oceans shows us the shared depths of our grief, the power of the grass to grow and regrow shows us its future—the way forward of life after death…

In response to Orlando

On June 12, 2016, Omar Mateen killed 49 people and wounded 53 others in a terrorist attack inside Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida. Michael wrote the following letter to the community: Dear friends, I continue to be horrified and angry about the Orlando shootings last week, where 49 people died and 53 were […]

Grief & The Leap Manifesto

Reading news coverage of the Leap Manifesto, you could be forgiven for thinking the authors had proposed we give up on this planet and pin our hopes on Mars. Rex Murphy called it “the most radical anti-oil agenda outside of a Greenpeace seance held in a crop circle.” For Conrad Black, it is a “giant […]

13 Things You Should Know About Patience

To build patience, find a strategy. British Columbia-based psychotherapist and meditation teacher Micahel Stone uses this one: first, he imagines how he’d respond if he was feeling patient. Then he waits until his frustration changes into something else – relief, gratitude or calm. (Reader’s Digest, January 2016)

Ethics, Day 2

Michael: I wanted to talk about the first aspect of the first precept we’re exploring. The precept of ahimsa or non-violence, or not having the intention to cause harm. One of the ways I’ve been translating it lately is not living at the expense of other life. That’s not a traditional translation, but I think it works. This is true for body, speech and mind.

What’s the Music All About?

Uncle Ian sat so still listening to records, reading, drinking water. When nine-year-old Michael Stone was with Ian, he had enough space to think about the world in new ways.

Relationship is the Key to Awakening

Michael Stone discusses recent book Family Wakes Us Up and how family life – from working through communication troubles, to giving up fixed ideas of how we think things should be – can be a vehicle for cultivating intimacy, transforming reactivity, and connecting with a life that is far deeper than the stories we tell ourselves.

Lotus Sutra 19: The End is Forgiveness

The Lotus Sutra violates all of our ideas about space and time. The second half of the text lays a particular emphasis on the idea that it isn’t necessary to perfect yourself to become a Buddha. The chants, the prayers, the long sessions of setting – they’re all great of course, but you can get […]

Lotus Sutra 18: Situational Ethics

The Lotus Sutra is forever promising that the Lotus Sutra will be taught, but it never happens. It is promised, remembered, its benefits extolled, its virtues highlighted, but the thing itself is missing. This teaching is about an emanation that has no substantiality. Like a person. John emanates his John-ness everywhere, but there is no […]

Lotus Sutra 17: Buddha Never Disparaging

The experience of impermanence invites our endless imagination. The real meaning of no-self is an exalted self-form. We all have self-forms that we need to be taken care of. If we could only see how interconnected our lives are, we could heal the deepest wounds. Maybe that’s why we come here – to see the […]

Lotus Sutra 16: The Empty Room

Sometimes when I’m sitting in meditation, when I’m sitting here with you, I’m an empty room and the wind is blowing into it, and the wind is blowing out of it. The wind of the breath. It’s just there, it’s just happening, the way that sound, can you hear that sound? Oh, it doesn’t matter […]

Lotus Sutra 15: Emptiness and the Necessary Obstacle

I thought we’d begin with one of the most dramatic moments in Buddhist literature. It’s a scene that I used to imagine taking place in a kind of palace, where the candles would throw large flickering shadows on the walls as if we were in the middle of a religious detective movie. But because this […]

Lotus Sutra 14: You Were Happy

Sick Kids R Us Children have taken the poison of dukkha and have lost their senses. They are trapped in delusion. Even when the father, whom the children love and respect, prepares medicine, only some of them take it, the others can’t recognize its qualities. Seeing as Imagination Perhaps the inability to perceive the qualities […]

Lotus Sutra 13: Bodhisattva Vow

Addictions Suffering is caused by the stories we’re addicted to. Maybe we just need to give our addictions a decent burial. When you try to resolve your crisis the resolution becomes the new crisis. Room Response What if you walked into a room that responded to you? If you were cold it would warm up, […]

Lotus Sutra 12: Girl Buddha

Dancing In The Lotus Sutra, whenever people start to wake up they start dancing. It’s nice to be part of a lineage that insists on dancing. Emma Goldman (proto-feminist, writer, activist) thought so too. “At the dances I was one of the most untiring and gayest. One evening a cousin of Sasha [Alexander Berkman], a […]

Lotus Sutra 11: Nemesis

There is a treasure tower, a stupa, that appears floating in the sky every time the Lotus Sutra is being delivered. Michael met a mensch on the plane who said, “The tower is there because the fear of death hovers over us all the time.” “I thought it was because life is a funeral.” “Isn’t […]

Lotus Sutra 10: Imagination

The arhats – those perfectly enlightened beings who had sat with the Buddha, tirelessly meditating, extending benevolence and kindness to others with every breath – offer a parable about themselves to the Buddha. They are like a man who gets drunk at a party, and a friend (the Buddha) sews a priceless jewel into their […]

Lotus Sutra 9: Treasure

At the beginning of this chapter, the one that promises treasure, Purna is excited that he’s hearing such beautiful teachings. The Buddha says to the sangha: Now this Purna in the past diligently practiced the way under a thousand million Buddhas, proclaiming and guarding the Law of those Buddhas… and in the future too he […]

Lotus Sutra 8: Facing the Face

Breathing as Listening Can you listen to The Lotus Sutra through your breath? Using the medium of your breath, letting it float into you on currents of cool air, instead of using the analytical part of yourself, the inner autopsy inspector? What if, instead of studying the practice, the sutra, the text, we could listen […]

Lotus Sutra 7: The Phantom City

Time There are different layers of time. The atomic clock in Boulder measures time through its decay. Time is passing. Is time passing? Is time passing? Is time passing? The body has its own time. We’re meeting in the evening when the body is digesting the day psychologically and physiologically. Another layer: there is a […]

Lotus Sutra 6: Suffering and Time

Dharma Sequins Mahayana Buddhism is rococo Buddhism, extravagant and spectacular. If you photocopied the Lotus Sutra it would come out of the machine looking like gold sequins. Arhats are the perfected beings of early Buddhism, sternly ascetic practitioners of the middle way. But the readers and writers of The Lotus Sutra realized that the whole […]

Lotus Sutra 5: Burning

Last Defence at Troubled Reactors: 50 Japanese Workers by Keith Bradsher and Hioko Tabuchi (New York Times) A small crew of technicians, braving radiation and fire, became the only people remaining at the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Station on Tuesday — and perhaps Japan’s last chance of preventing a broader nuclear catastrophe. They crawl through […]

Lotus Sutra 4: Scenes

Rule Rebellion When the Buddha died, the sangha built several stupas (shrines). Different parts of the community gathered around different shrines. One of the largest gatherings, of what might be named the maha, the majority of the sangha, had split away from the elders (holding the Theraveda tradition) within 100 years of the Buddha’s death. […]

Lotus Sutra 3: Or Perhaps a Fingernail

Within 50 years of the Buddha’s death, there were 18-25 schools of Buddhism, all offering different emphases, explanations, practices. What is the keynote of Mahayana Buddhism? We do not wake up alone, we wake up with others. We put aside individual striving and enlightenment until every cat, dog, leaf, blade of grass and person is […]

Lotus Sutra 2: The Welcome Mat

Japanese Novel Let me half remember that Japanese novel I like to leave under my pillow. I don’t actually read it at all, instead, at night, I invite it to dream me. It begins with a couple on a train, and the woman wakes up and sees her once and future beloved still sleeping. When […]

Lotus Sutra 1: Deep Background

Bow At the end of a sit we bow, and we’re not bowing to the teacher, to this room, or the Buddha. We’re bowing to this moment. Everything that is, is in this moment. Bowing is a beautiful practice. Your bow affects your neighbour’s bow. The bow can be a meeting place between two people […]

Preceptions

A commitment to ethics begins with recognizing that everything we do makes waves. These waves begin in body, speech, and mind, and ripple through our lives and the lives of those around us. Although we often think of ethics as rules, choosing an ethical way of life is also an expression of deep interconnectedness.

On Track with Paul Newman

Between blockbuster movies, car racing, and salad dressing, Paul Newman was one of the world’s most recognizable celebrities. Yet, says Michael Stone, he was one of those rare people who could sit still and watch the rainfall. I'd seen Paul Newman around the track. He wore shades, he always had his collar up, and he seemed like [...]

A Story About a Bell and Thich Nhat Hanh – Letter from Peter Levitt

A letter from Peter Levitt on Thich Nhat Hanh and the practice of ringing the bell Dear Sangha, This past Wednesday I spoke a little bit about Thich Nhat Hanh, who was taken to the hospital with a severe brain hemorrhage. At this time he is being taken care of by doctors and his sangha [...]

Beginner’s Mind 6: Throw Up and Bow

Bow How do we bow? Our hands are in anjali mudra. Anjali is a Sanskrit word meaning prayer. We bring both palms together so we can feel both sides of the body. The palms are a fist distance from the face, and the fingertips are in line with the nose. Then you bow from the […]

Beginner’s Mind 5: How to Sit is How to Act

Just Die Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind is a collection of talks given by Shunryu Suzuki in the 1960s. Let’s boil it down like an overzealous cook. If the book were a slogan it might read: Express yourself right to the end. Last week we did a face to face guided meditation practice where we allowed […]

Beginner’s Mind 4: Grateful for the Weeds

Below the belt is uddiyana bandha. Above the belt is pizza. When you sit you’ll start to see that the intimate details of your life is what your practice is all about. Never mind about nirvana – it was all a joke. You can’t think your way there anyway. You might as well trust your […]

Beginner’s Mind 3: Appreciation

Isn’t that a wonderful and simple thing? Brown rice practice. Simple. Nothing added. Are we here to gain enlightenment? Are we here to be free? Or are we here to appreciate our lives? Or, is there a difference?

Beginner’s Mind 2: Spare Time (Hahahaha)

Zen can be quite a performance sometimes. Especially when the teacher is letting one fireball after another out of their mouth. But Shunryu Suzuki (author of Beginners Mind, Zen Mind) speaks in a more modest way. When he’s done there’s a stop sign that appears in your blood and that stops you mid-gesture and you […]

Beginner’s Mind 1: Taking Care of Each Other

Prologue to Zen Mind, Beginners Mind by Shunryu Suzuki In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few. People say that practicing Zen is difficult, but there is a misunderstanding as to why. It is not difficult because it is hard to sit in the cross-legged position, or to […]

My Practice, My Snake

The Buddha famously compared his teachings to a snake. A snake? My dharma, he said, is like an elephant, like a raft, like a city. Like a snake. He is speaking in the language of his time. It’s fourth century BC, and he’s talking as usual in a practical, relational way. He’s talking to people […]

The Secret of Pleasure

1st Prelude Sometimes my unconscious puts the breaks on and says: let’s stop here. For the last month, it’s been 14th century France. Every dream is set in a small village, and the really cool thing is that I finally get to speak French. I don’t actually know how to speak French, so what it […]

Burning House: Betrayal as Innovation by Roshi Pat Enkyo O’Hara

The Lotus Sutra is the most treasured text of East Asian Buddhism – in China, Japan and Korea it is central. It is an ur-text, regarded much as the bible is here, the literary roots of so much writing that would follow. One can trace themes, tropes, echoes back to this text. The Zen tradition […]

Include Everything by Roshi Pat Enkyo O’Hara

Today I want to speak to you about the koan, “Seizei, A Poor Monk.” Seizei, a monk, once said to Master Sozan, “I am poor and destitute. I beg you, oh Master, please help me and make me rich.” Sozan said, “Venerable Seizei?” “Yes, teacher,” replied Seizei. Sozan said, “Having tasted three cups of the […]

Creative Engagement by Martine Batchelor

I would like to look at grasping and non-grasping and what I would call creative engagement. Yesterday we were talking about nama factors, omnipresent factors, we won’t go into the details because it’s a little technical, but what is very interesting is contact and feeling. What meditation and the path can help us to do […]

Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart, Mark Epstein

Can a parent leave their child alone without abandoning them? This unstructured and unintegrated state of mind is the foundation of all healing. The defensive nature of most of our mental activity. We build up our selves out of our defenses but then come to be imprisoned by them.

A Tale of Two Mindfulnesses: Stephen Batchelor and Pat Rockman

A conversation with Pat Rockman and Stephen Batchelor (May, 2011) Pat Rockman: I should probably tell you briefly about my background, would that be helpful? Stephen Batchelor: Yes, indeed it would. Pat: I’m a physician with a mental health practice and my training is in cognitive behavioral therapy and also in mindfulness-based CBT. I did […]

Peter Levitt: The Weight We Carry is Love

Notes on a talk by Peter Levitt at Centre of Gravity on May 3, 2013. My students complain that I speak too quietly but I tell them that they know everything already, please don’t make me shout. It’s good to be here at the Centre of Gravity, you know, gravity is the unseen capacity that holds us to the ground.

Life is But a Dream by Simone Moir

I’m a Gestalt psychotherapist, Yoga practitioner and teacher, a meditator, and I run a space called the Parkdale Prana Room (a bodymind therapy and practice space.) I studied in the Tibetan Shambhala tradition and this influence will likely show up in my talk tonight. I’m also responding to the talks Michael (Stone)’s been giving the [...]

Digesting the Dharma 4 by Simone Moir

Notes on a talk given by Simone Moir at the Centre of Gravity on October 22, 2013. There is a position open for you at any time you choose it. It is not a teaching position at a new yoga studio down the street nor is it to become a mediation instructor for elderly, youth […]

Digesting the Dharma 3 by Simone Moir

Digesting the Dharma 3: Waking Up to Relationship by Simone Moir (October 15, 2013/notes/amendments by Mike Hoolboom) Community I’d like to speak directly to you as a community tonight. I apologize in advance to those who are new if this approach causes you any confusion. I admit that what I have to offer tonight may […]

Digesting the Dharma 2 by Simone Moir

Notes on a talk by Simone Moir at Centre of Gravity on July 2, 2013. Part Two This is part two of Eating the Dharma. How do we digest a talk like last week’s talk? We’ve been studying the Pali canon, some of the earliest texts dished by the Buddha. The Buddha is proposing an […]

Digesting the Dharma 1 by Simone Moir

Notes on a talk by Simone Moir at Centre of Gravity on June 2, 2013. Seat When I come to this room I’m reminded of my train travels in China. You can buy two kinds of seats: hard seats and soft seats. The hard seats are just planks of wood. As we spend time here […]

Embodying the Path (French)

Pour que le yoga puisse continuer comme tradition vivante il est important d’étudier, de pratiquer et de s’efforcer continuellement à comprendre en profondeur les enseignements fondamentaux offerts par des enseignants et par des textes. Sans une pratique dévouée et un engagement analytique avec la tradition du yoga, le yoga devient une tradition d’intérêt seulement archaïque. Le poète Czeslaw Milosz écrit, « À quoi sert la poésie si elle ne peut pas sauver des nations ou des personnes ? » Pourrons nous nous attendre du même au yoga ?

Yoga for a World Out of Balance (Spanish)

Yoga for a World Out of Balance, Chapters One and Two in Spanish, translation by Maria Tristant CAPITULO UNO EL CAMINO SE REVELA Para investigar las dimensiones psicológicas y espirituales de nuestros padecimientos globales actuales, es importante reconsiderar modelos de prácticas antiguas, de cambios y sabidurías que podrían ser de algún benefcio para nosotros ahora. Quizás halla algo […]

Remaining Human: A Buddhist Perspective on Occupy Wall Street

A man stands on a bench in Zuccotti Park on Wall Street and chants a phrase from a meeting last night: “We don’t want a higher standard of living, we want a better standard of living.” He’s wearing a crisp navy blue suit and typing tweets into his iPhone. Next to him, Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek, wearing a red t-shirt, is surrounded by at least a hundred people as he makes his way onto a makeshift platform.

Precepts 8: The Round Up

The following is a transcript of a year-long series Michael Stone gave on bringing ethical awareness into every-day life. These talks were given in a large warm loft space across from Trinity Bellwoods Park in downtown Toronto. There were regularly at least fifty people in attendance and almost everyone arrived by bicycle.  Wings We have […]

Precepts 7: Generosity

The following is a transcript of a year-long series Michael Stone gave on bringing ethical awareness into every-day life. These talks were given in a large warm loft space across from Trinity Bellwoods Park in downtown Toronto. There were regularly at least fifty people in attendance and almost everyone arrived by bicycle. Nuclear Peace Good […]

Precepts 6: The Wise Use of Sexual Energy

The following is a transcript of a year-long series Michael Stone gave on bringing ethical awareness into every-day life. These talks were given in a large warm loft space across from Trinity Bellwoods Park in downtown Toronto. There were regularly at least fifty people in attendance and almost everyone arrived by bicycle. Where is the […]

Roshi Pat Enkyo O’Hara

Vague and incomplete notes, jottings, asides, recollections, daydreams on talks by Roshi Pat Enkyo O’Hara at Centre of Gravity on Feb 25-27, 2011. No one else has ever been here, at this moment. Talking about Talking On a rainy day at Green Gulch temple the poet Gary Snyder told this story: Years before when he […]

Precepts 5: Sexual Healing

The following is a transcript of a year-long series Michael Stone gave on bringing ethical awareness into every-day life. These talks were given in a large warm loft space across from Trinity Bellwoods Park in downtown Toronto. There were regularly at least fifty people in attendance and almost everyone arrived by bicycle.  Sexual Healing So […]

Forever Jung 5: 10,000 Hours

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone, Centre of Gravity, Toronto. October 2, 2012.  We Could we explore in our own lives how these teachings allow us to see ourselves in a different way? Our hearts are strained. We lose people we love. We can’t always get what we want. Our bodies are impermanent and […]

Forever Jung 4: Dreams

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone, Centre of Gravity, Toronto. September 25, 2012. Intimate When we’re practicing mindfulness of breathing, language can set up problems. When we hear the word “mindfulness” we might think mind, while “breathing” equals body. It might seem like the mind is watching the body. We might get the sense […]

Forever Jung 3: Risk

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone, Centre of Gravity, Toronto. September 18, 2012. Fresh When you can bring attention to the beginning of the inhale, concentration develops. If you can keep attention one inhale after another, and the body is at ease, then dualities might begin to fall away. And meditation practice can feel […]

Forever Jung 2: Split

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone, Toronto. September 10, 2012. Eight When Jung was eight years old he found it hard to be around other people and this caused him anguish. He felt a split between his outer world, and the inner world of dreams and images. It was hard to engage with other […]

Forever Jung 1: Shared Psyche

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, Toronto. September 3, 2012. There’s a Chinese poem that goes like this. The little retreat is to go hide in the mountains and be with the water. The great retreat is to disappear in the capital. Here we are in the fall, back at […]

Bernie Glassman 3: New Shit Will Come to Light

It has not been unusual to hold bearing witness retreats in places of suffering, where unresolved issues remain, and not necessarily human issues. Some retreats have happened in slaughterhouses, bearing witness to the suffering of animals. I try to bring all of the sides in question into the retreat, as much as possible. It one […]

Bernie Glassman 2: The Circles Are Us

In 1997 I was on a book tour with Instructions to the Cook: A Zen Master’s Lessons in Living a Life That Matters (Bernie Glassman and Rick Fields) and everywhere I went I got a similar reaction. People thanked me for encouraging them to do something. In my early years with the dharma, I think […]

Bernie Glassman 1: Not Knowing, Bearing Witness, Loving Action

Bernie Glassman: “The way we can see how deeply one has let go of attachments and realizes the interconnectedness and oneness of life… is how much that person is serving others. If the person is only serving themselves then that’s what they see as the world. If they are interconnected with the whole world, and […]

Time is Passing 8: Norman Fischer

This is talk 8 of 8 by Michael on Dogen’s text Time is Passing, written in 13th century Japan during a 7 Day Intensive at Centre of Gravity. Notes by Mike Hoolboom (with errancies, mishearings, conjectures). For the Time Being by Norman Fischer August 7, 2011, New York Times I recently returned from a week-long […]

Time is Passing 7: Action

This is talk 7 of 8 by Michael on Dogen’s text Time is Passing, written in 13th century Japan during a 7 Day Intensive at Centre of Gravity, Spring 2011. Notes by MH (with errancies, mishearings, conjectures). Pattabhi Jois said: 99% practice, 1% theory – a nice cocktail, but too often we don’t get the […]

Time is Passing 6: Hear the Cries of the Rivers Flowing as Time

This is talk 6 of 8 by Michael on Dogen’s text Time is Passing, written in 13th century Japan during a 7 Day Intensive at Centre of Gravity, Spring 2011. Notes by MH (with errancies, mishearings, conjectures). At the end of the five days, Michael says there is a feeling of ‘just starting’. He felt […]

Time is Passing 5: Yellowstone National Park

This is talk 5 of 8 by Michael on Dogen’s text Time is Passing, written in 13th century Japan during a 7 Day Intensive at Centre of Gravity, Spring 2011. Notes by MH (with errancies, mishearings, conjectures). I can’t live in this world And I refuse to kill myself Or let you kill me The […]

Time is Passing 4: Come Closer

This is talk 4 of 8 by Michael on Dogen’s text Time is Passing, written in 13th century Japan during a 7 Day Intensive at Centre of Gravity, Spring 2011. Notes by MH (with errancies, mishearings, conjectures). Vishana and Alys have been collecting petals for The Buddha and Guanyin The way we look at the […]

Time is Passing 3: Dogen and Martin Scorsese

This is talk 3 of 8 by Michael on Dogen’s text Time is Passing, written in 13th century Japan during a 7 Day Intensive at Centre of Gravity, Spring 2011. Ancient Buddha Dogen starts his essay on time with a quote by Yakusan, who we don’t know, but he was obviously a well known teacher […]

Time is Passing 2: An introduction to Dogen

This is talk 2 of 8 by Michael on Dogen’s text Time is Passing, written in 13th century Japan during a 7 Day Intensive at Centre of Gravity, Spring 2011. Notes by MH (with errancies, mishearings, conjectures). The text is called Uji. It has different meanings, but mostly it means “at a certain time.” Or […]

Time is Passing 1: Breathing, Shamatha, Vipassana

This is talk 1 of 8 by Michael on Dogen’s text Time is Passing), written in 13th century Japan during a 7-Day Intensive at Centre of Gravity, Spring 2011. Notes by MH (with errancies, mishearings, conjectures). The first thing I wanted to cover is what we’re doing with our breath when we’re practicing. When you […]

Precepts 3: Honesty

Copying “In many religious traditions, special care is given to the manner in which their sacred texts are transcribed. In Judaism, trained professional scribes ritually copy a new Torah in conformance to millennia-old tradition, focusing the mind on each of its 304,805 letters, assuring accuracy. In Islam, calligraphy is the primary means of preserving the […]

Precepts 2: Stephen Batchelor, Widow Basquiat, Feminine Ecriture, Prescription

The following is a transcript of a year-long series Michael Stone gave on bringing ethical awareness into every-day life. These talks were given in a large warm loft space across from Trinity Bellwoods Park in downtown Toronto. There were regularly at least fifty people in attendance and almost everyone arrived by bicycle.  Stephen Batchelor: Compassion […]

Ethics 12: Reaction Shots

The following are from Diane Eshini Rizzetto’s magical Waking Up To What You Do (Shambhala Publications, 2005) Monastics The Buddhist precepts came about originally as rules to govern the community of monks and nuns… they included very precise instructions such as not handling money, not eating certain foods, and were intended to support monastic practice. […]

How I Stopped Loving the Ruling Class

Three Pictures In the next few weeks, I’d like to explore the Buddha’s teachings before they turned into Buddhism. Let’s begin with three pictures. In the first picture, Bodhidharma, the person credited for bringing the Buddha’s teachings from India to China, met up with Emperor Wu. The Emperor asked him, “What are the Buddha’s teachings?” […]

Ethics 11: Zen Precepts

The precepts are all one thing: they are buddha’s mind. They show the ways that we get distracted from buddha’s mind. Each way of distraction from buddha’s mind is also a way of reunion with buddha’s mind. The precepts show how we lean away from our Buddha nature, and they are the road back.

Ethics 10: Vow

Form Welcome to the last talk of our precepts course. We’ve covered the precepts, the five yamas or vows we’re taking. They are: ahimsa or not harming. Satya: the practice of honesty. Asteya: not stealing or not taken what’s not given freely. Brahmacharya: the wise use of sexual energy. And lastly aparigraha or the practice […]

Ethics 9: Generosity

This is a transcript of a conversation with Michael Stone and Simone Moir as part of an online Precepts Course at Centre of Gravity in 2011. This course looked at the five yamas (from the first limb of Yoga) and took them up as precepts: ahimsa (not harming), satya (honesty), asteya (not stealing), brahmacharya (wise […]

Ethics 8: Brahmacharya

This is a transcript of a talk by Michael Stone (with some insertions, amendments, riffs by the note-taker) as part of an online Precepts Course at Centre of Gravity in 2011. This course looked at the five yamas (from the first limb of Yoga) and took them up as precepts: ahimsa (not harming), satya (honesty), […]

Ethics 7b : Not-Stealing

Notes on a talk at Centre of Gravity by Mike Hoolboom and Pat Rockman, May 13, 2014 Context Sometimes, when I get really quiet and I can live inside the breath, it can be hard to tell where the inhale stops and the exhale begins. It feels like part of the inhale is the exhale, […]

Ethics 7: Not-Stealing

This is a transcript of a talk given by Michael Stone as part of an online Precepts Course at Centre of Gravity in 2011. This course looked at the five yamas (from the first limb of Yoga) and took them up as precepts: ahimsa (not harming), satya (honesty), asteya (not stealing), brahmacharya (wise use of […]

Ethics 6: Mindfulness

This is a transcript of a talk given by Michael Stone as part of an online Precepts Course at Centre of Gravity in 2011. This course looked at the five yamas (from the first limb of Yoga) and took them up as precepts: ahimsa (not harming), satya (honesty), asteya (not stealing), brahmacharya (wise use of […]

Ethics 5b: Honesty

A talk given at Centre of Gravity, Toronto, March 18, 2014 Three Trainings In Korea, in the seventh century, a form of Buddhism began to flourish that was based in meditation, as opposed to a more scholarly, text-oriented approach. Because of its emphasis on sitting practice, it was close to the Japanese Zen schools, and […]

Ethics 5: Honesty

This is a transcript of a talk given by Michael Stone (with some extra riffs from the author) as part of an online Precepts Course at Centre of Gravity in 2011. This course looked at the five yamas (from the first limb of Yoga) and took them up as precepts: ahimsa (not harming), satya (honesty), […]

Ethics 4: Not Harming

This text is a collage. It’s partly the words of the author and notes from a talk given by Michael as part of a Precepts Course at Centre of Gravity in 2011. This course looked at the five yamas (from the first limb of Yoga) and took them up as precepts: ahimsa (not harming), satya […]

Ethics 3: Deep Background

Excerpted from a 2010 talk by Stephen Batchelor in Australia “But I think also that when the dharma comes through our age, when we conceive of ourselves in this age, we also have to bring into play ideas about evolution. How we understand this universe to have come about from the big bang up until […]

Ethics 2: How We Get Along

You No one will read this sentence the way you’re reading it, whether you hold it in your heart, or let it drift off the tips of your fingers. The way you turn the page, skipping over certain words, allowing others to reshape the tongue, each instant of your reading creates a unique path of […]

Ethics 1: Introduction

From Centre of Gravity, Toronto. Written by Mike Hoolboom. Why are you here? It’s the question I want to ask everyone who sits on a cushion, or rolls out a yoga mat. The answers, when they come, are predictably fantastical. Perfect strangers open to reveal a dizzying array of emotional quicksand, family trials, terminal illness. […]

Notes on Dying 5: Crow Funeral by Elaine Jackson

Notes on a talk by Elaine Jackson on death. This is the last evening we will dedicate to death and dying, at least until Michael returns. I did not prepare a dharma talk, but I will say a couple of things: Death is happening around us all the time. We live in a culture that somehow has made death seem distant and foreign.

Old Maps

Notes on a talk at Centre of Gravity by Michael Stone, May 6, 2014 First and Last I’m touched there’s many people here tonight. This will be the last time we’ll meet like this, so why not go back to the beginning. Let’s look at the first koan of the koan curriculum. A monk asks […]

Noting in the Empire of Selfies

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone, April 8, 2014, at Centre of Gravity Jerry Jerry Durlack found out he had cancer, and while he wasn’t afraid of the cancer, or of dying, he was scared of the pain that was waiting for him. That’s when I started teaching him sitting practice, but I could […]

Grasping (Money)

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, Toronto on March 4, 2014 Stages Here at Gravity our practice doesn’t proceed in laid out stages exactly – mostly we’re sitting and feeling our breathing. Over time you can feel your body breathing without you interfering so much. When you start practicing the […]

Who am I? What should I do?

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity on February 4, 2014 Tonight we’re going to mull over this koan: “What is the core of Buddhism?” a student asks. Qinguan (the teacher) replies, “What is the price of rice in Luling?” If this koan were laid out today it might say: “What […]

Why Can’t the Tail Pass Through?

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, January 14, 2014 Koans Koans are often teaching devices that take the form of a dialogue between two people. They were dished orally, and eventually collections would form, often attached to a particular teacher who would use them sequentially in a koan curriculum. The […]

Buddha Before Buddhism 6: Conditioned Arising

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, July 3, 2013 There are many approaches to meditation. We’re using is called one-pointed attention. You take an object: candle, breath, mantra or sound, and it gives you an anchor, a place to return to. The closer you get to the breathe, the softer […]

Buddha Before Buddhism 8: Last Words

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity June 23, 2013 Present In the Zen tradition, there is a saying: “Reaching the mystery is nothing but breaking through and grabbing an ordinary person’s life.” The mystical experience turns out to be this present moment – the faith that we can see ourselves/others […]

Buddha Before Buddhism 7: Karma

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, June 16, 2013 Beggar When the Buddha spoke to his people, his group, he used a word that is often translated as “monks.” But the word is “bhikku” which means beggar. The Buddha insisted that his community rely on everyday householders for support. If […]

Buddha Before Buddhism 5: Raft

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, June 11, 2013 Listening I’m just back from a five-day conference of dharma teachers born after 1960. We come from such different traditions, different identity kits. Our elders built centres and lineages, and these are so important, though perhaps you could say they clung […]

Buddha Before Buddhism 4: Leaving Home

Centre of Gravity talk, May 28, 2013 Heavy Last week someone made a comment that was cleverly disguised as a question. Can you remember? The question was: why don’t we call the Buddha, Gotama? This is his last name, his family name, Gotama. I wonder if we might be able to try that out, if […]

Buddha Before Buddhism 2: Who do you trust?

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, May 14, 2013 Ourselves The times the Buddha lived in is now called by scholars the Axial Age. One of its primary features is that a new kind of religious life was developing, not only because of the Buddha but by contemporaries like Hillel, […]

Buddha Before Buddhism 3: Ancient City

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, Toronto, May 13, 2013 Strain Religion is an attempt to respond to the strain at the centre of every heart. Every child has a religious feeling. Can you remember? Before it was educated out of you. I’m just back from Trinidad where Maria told […]

Buddha Before Buddhism 1: How I Stopped Loving the Ruling Class

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, Toronto, May 6, 2013 Three Pictures In the next few weeks, I’d like to explore the Buddha’s teachings before they turned into Buddhism. Let’s begin with three pictures. In the first picture, Bodhidharma, the person credited for bringing the Buddha’s teachings from India to […]

Bodhisattva 9: Anger

Transcribed talk by Roshi Pat Enkyo O’Hara Originally published by The Village Zendo When we begin sitting, we are often immediately relieved that we’ve finally sat down and started to practice. We settle into the quiet and we bliss out for a while. But then, if we are really aware, we discover that we may […]

Bodhisattva 8: Anger

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, February 25, 2013 Celeste Celeste wrote an email that I’d like to excerpt. It goes like this: “I had a question I was hoping you could shed some light on. In the text I feel like Shantideva is saying, in so many words, emotions […]

Bodhisattva 1: Vanishing Acts, Altruism, Biological Allies

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, January 8, 2013 Scholar For the next couple of months we’re going to study a text written by Shantideva who lived in India in the seventh or eighth century. Shanti means peace and Deva means deity. I’ve tried to learn more about him and […]

We Promise to Fix It Back

Meditation practice never works the way you think it will. You think it’s working in one part of your mind only to realize it’s actually rearranging a wholly different part. Fukushima is the same way. I thought I’d go to Japan to bring blankets to displaced families, meet scientists and young people re-imagining what’s possible.

Everything is Medicine

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, December 16, 2012 Guns I would like to dedicate tonight’s talk to the families who have lost their loved ones in the Connecticut shooting. Guns are terrifying. At my son’s school you’re not allowed to play with guns, so when they get home all […]

Yoga Sutra 18: Remix by Matthew Remski

Notes on a talk by Matthew Remski at Centre of Gravity, Toronto, December 11, 2012 Intro by Michael Stone Matthew is always someone who goes too far. For instance, he had the idea to start a yoga fest, and it had to happen in the most beautiful building in the city, featuring local talent who […]

Christmas: Can You Be Ready?

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, December 4, 2012 Showing Up for the Show Down I wanted to talk today about joy and fear and Christmas. Do those things go together? If the Buddha had stuck around I’m sure he would have laid down a sutra for the Christmas holidays […]

Money

Notes from a talk by Michael Stone at Carmen Dunjko’s apartment on September 8, 2012, to Centre of Gravity donors. Exercise Let’s begin with a partner exercise. First let’s check in with how you feel about money. What is the feeling tone? How does it feel in the body? In this exercise you’re going to […]

Notes on Dying 4: Pain

Notes on a talk given by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, July 24, 2012 Both Sides Physical pain can’t really be separated from emotional or psychological pain. And the pain of grieving, or the break up a relationship, also has a physical component. We’re going to look at pain holding both sides. Sometimes people […]

Heart Sutra 6: Feel the Fear

Notes from a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity on July 17, 2012, on day 9 of a 12-day intensive. With no hindrance in the mind. No hindrance, therefore no fear. Far beyond deluded thoughts, this is Nirvana. Welcome to nirvana We’re all practicing in nirvana right now, it’s hard to recognize, but […]

Heart Sutra 5: No Gain by Elaine Jackson

Elaine Jackson gave an excellent talk on July 15, 2012, day 7 of a 12 day intensive at the Centre of Gravity, Toronto. It is a reflection on a single line in the Heart Sutra. How do I get my mind around practice with no idea of gaining? I can’t. Or I should say that […]

Heart Sutra 4: Give Yourself a Break

Notes from a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity on July 15, 2012, on day 7 of a 12-day intensive. Self Liberation During sitting meditation, when you’re sitting with your thoughts long enough, they begin to empty themselves out. In Tibetan Buddhism there’s a phrase called “self liberation.” Thoughts liberate themselves. I remember […]

Heart Sutra 3: Vacuum Cleaner

Notes from a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity on July 13, 2012, on day 5 of a 12-day intensive. Time It’s so easy to sit on the cushion and waste time. “Time passes swiftly and opportunity is lost, Do not squander your life.” Every moment is precious. Work hard in the time […]

Notes on Dying 3: Death Poems

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone given at Centre of Gravity, Toronto, July 10, 2012. Virginia Woolf said, “One ought to stand outside with one’s hands folded until the thing itself has made itself visible.” Death poems are a Japanese practice that began in the sixth century. The priests were given the practice that […]

Heart Sutra 2: Why Other People Suck

Notes from a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity on July 9, 2012 on day 3 of a 12-day intensive. Empty A couple of days ago we spoke about “maha” – unsurpassable, limitless, greatness and another way of saying this is emptiness. It’s equivalent to emptiness or shunyu. Emptiness stands on the side […]

Heart Sutra 1: Seeing the Background

Notes from a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity on July 9, 2012 on day 1 of a 12-day intensive. The Heart Sutra is the most chanted sutra in the Buddhist tradition. Somewhere in the world, no matter when you are reading this, someone is chanting the sutra. For me, the HS is […]

Notes on Dying 2: I’m Dying, What Can I Do For You?

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, Toronto, June 26, 2012. Categories The nature of mind is to take a snapshot of whatever arrives in this moment and create categories. No wonder it’s so hard to die. These categories get linked up and become parts of systems. I look out my […]

Notes on Dying 1: What Stops You?

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, Toronto, June 19, 2012. Breath The stability that comes when you sit in the middle of your life. To touch that stability, to let it hold you, again and again. That place where you can touch your mind before your mind. Where you can […]

Pranayama 2: Restraint, Mercy, Central Axis

Notes from a four-part Pranayama workshop held in February 2012 at the Centre of Gravity. Led by Michael Stone and Grant Hutchinson. Pranayama from the root pra “to fill ” Prana – energy of tree in spring (toward centre of heart) Apana – energy of tree in fall (toward centre of pelvic floor) Nadis are […]

Pranayama 1: Practices

Notes from a four-part Pranayama workshop held in February 2012 at the Centre of Gravity. Led by Michael Stone and Grant Hutchinson. Pattabhi Jois said that pranayama practice was like plugging yourself into a 12,000 volt outlet. Some confuse the endorphin rush of extended inhales and exhales with what should really be going on: ease […]

Bodhisattva 7: Get Closer

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, February 18, 2012 Tonight’s talk is dedicated to Olin Winter Stone, my son, who was born on Friday at [12:08] in the afternoon while the snow was falling. Within Within by Peter Levitt “Spring is within a plum twig, bearing the snow-cold.” Dogen, 1243 […]

Bodhisattva 6: Kleshas

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, February 11, 2012 Cheer Chapter four of Shantideva’s *A Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life* seems to have two sections, both written in the spirit of a dharma pep talk. I can see cheerleaders spelling the word: BODHICHITTA. (Give me a B!) The […]

Pranayama 4: The Goal of the Practice is Compassion

Notes from a four-part Pranayama workshop held in February 2012 at the Centre of Gravity. Led by Michael Stone and Grant Hutchinson. Dog Have you ever seen a dog leave the ocean? What is the first thing it does, particularly if it’s not your dog? It comes on over and shakes off all that water. […]

Pranayama 3: Beer and Espresso

Notes from a four-part Pranayama workshop held in February 2012 at the Centre of Gravity. Led by Michael Stone and Grant Hutchinson. Posture In order to feel the anatomical detail we’re describing – mula bandha and uddiyana bandha – we need to be sitting up, not lying down. The pubic bone and tail bone are […]

Bodhisattva 5: Jewel

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at Centre of Gravity, Toronto, February 5, 2012 Sitting Practice Meditation practice: how to work with thinking? When doing sitting meditation it’s important to choose an object of meditation. This object is something you can come back to over and over again when you wander away in thoughts. […]

Bodhisattva 4: Going Out on a Limb

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone January 29, 2012 Upside Down There’s an old Zen saying: The whole world is upside down. At least, from an ordinary perspective. What we think of as permanent turns out to be impermanent. What we thought was stable and reliable, turns out to be unreliable. The Thai forest […]

Bodhisattva 3: Sunk Cost

Notes on a talk by Michael Stone at the Centre of Gravity, Toronto, January 22, 2012. Listening Nada Yoga means sitting and opening to sound, to whatever sound is arising and passing away. “The pranayama and mudra techniques in hatha yoga are followed to bring about the retention of prana within the body. This retention […]

Bodhisattva 2: The Village Writes

My talk at Centre of Gravity, Toronto, January 15, 2012 Author So we’ve started looking at this old Indian text from the 8th century called, in English, “A Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life.” When I pick up this book I try to reach back and imagine the writer living in that old place, […]

Yoga Sutra 17: Scars and Patterns

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011.  Ease Let’s set up the form of meditation. Can you feel a soft smile at the […]

Yoga Sutra 16: Occupy Questions

Rooms of Change Rooms of Change is an Occupy-inspired project that brings questions to humanimal shoppers inside change rooms in malls. Written on stickers, these questions help bring shoppers back to their bodies, senses, hearts and minds. Change rooms are private spaces within public spaces where critical decisions are made as we find ourselves naked, […]

Yoga Sutra 15: Museum of Silence

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. Xmas If you see how you spend money this month (of December – it’s a week […]

Yoga Sutra 14: Shamanism by Theodore Tsaousidis

Notes on a talk by TT at Centre of Gravity, 180 Sudbury Street, Toronto. Spring 2011. The Call Standing in a circle of darkness Eyes facing the four directions Relinquishing this body of flesh and bone Don’t you know Lightning strikes gods and demons alike Breathing in the celestial fragrant air. Bathing in the womb […]

Yoga Sutra 13: We Only Protect What We Love by Mike Hoolboom

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. Barbara I wanted to start out today by introducing you to an extraordinary women, her name […]

Yoga Sutra 12: Loving Kindness

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. Chip Hartranft: 3.24: “Focusing with perfect discipline on friendliness, compassion, delight, and equanimity, one is imbued […]

Yoga Sutra 11: Super Powers

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. I’m just back from Halifax where I met a woman who had been in Mysore. When […]

Yoga Sutra 10: Speaking of Language

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. Somewhere between 100BC-200 CE The Yoga Sutra was written by “Patanjali” a group scene of writing. […]

Yoga Sutra 9: Ego Tourism

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. Ends When I was at Occupy Vancouver a woman named Ashley (the signs read: We are […]

Yoga Sutra 8: Art of Dying

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. James Hillman This talk is dedicated to my mentor James Hillman who died two days ago. […]

Yoga Sutra 7: Feeling Groovy

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. The transformation toward total stillness occurs as new latent impressions fostering cessation arise to prevent the […]

Yoga Sutra 6: Mic check by Matthew Remski

Matthew Remski talks about Occupy Wall Street Mic Check: how the Occupy movement is creating empathy through communication Of the countless intersubjective graces unfolding in Zuccotti Park and around the Occupy world, the “human microphone” is recapturing something as old as human learning. This is something sacred: a repurposing of voice, ear, and content that […]

Yoga Sutra 5: We Are Awakening From a Dream

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. Concentration Concentration/mindfulness occurs when your attention connects to a field (of breath, or sound, or…) Instead […]

Yoga Sutra 4: It’s the end of the exhale and I feel fine

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. The sitting instruction today is to pay attention to the end of the exhale. Breath after […]

Yoga Sutra 3: Emptiness!

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. Bearing Witness During the five day intensive, we’ve been creating practices so that we can do […]

Yoga Sutra 2: Kissing Your Trash

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. Rollo May, the American existentialist psychologist once wrote: “It is an ironic habit of human beings […]

Yoga Sutra 1: The Field Practices

A series of talks by Michael Stone about chapter 3 of The Yoga Sutra a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Notes by MH include reveries and imaginings. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. We’re going to look at chapter 3 of the *Yoga Sutra*, it’s the one that is […]

Yoga Sutra 0: Judy Rebick on the Occupy Movement

A series of talks on and inspired by The Yoga Sutra, a text written by mysterious author(s) often named Patanjali in the second century. Centre of Gravity Fall 2011. Not Knowing Chris Hedges, a longtime award winning journalist, said that he’d covered every major revolution in the past 25 years… and that he was sitting […]

No System Exists in a Vacuum

Interview by Vincent Horn of Buddhist Geeks. We speak about the interrelations between spiritual systems and the sociological, ecological, and cultural systems that also make up our lives. We also explore what it means for dharma to be in concert with its environment looking at how a systems view may support our motivations to really […]

Class: February 3, 2011

The following is a transcript of a year-long series Michael Stone gave on bringing ethical awareness into every-day life. These talks were given in a large warm loft space across from Trinity Bellwoods Park in downtown Toronto. There were regularly at least fifty people in attendance and almost everyone arrived by bicycle.  Asteya (Non-Stealing) Walls […]

A Letter

Dear Michael, …I watched my partner’s spine and breathing. I watched him. Breathing. All day. I watched him breathe in front of me. I watched and I breathed and I was totally, totally silent. Then at the end of the day, as I was leaving I said goodnight and he said goodnight and then I […]